Sometimes I feel like you're not real. Maybe you don't exist. That I'll never find you..

That's a scary thought.

I wish I had something real nice to write about.

I wonder if our stories came to life when we told them to each other years ago..
I wish we told better stories, instead of wishing for real rich men who treat us like dirt and we end up lonely like dolls that you leave when  you grow up.

I wish we told each other that we'd be friends till the end, if there was an end, because sometimes I think the end is an illusion, that we keep repeated our lives over and over again, we just forget about the previous life and begin one over again.

So Ive thought of a better story finally.

I dream of a green field of never ending flowers who never wither, I dream of a sun that never dies and the breeze that never wanders too far away..
I dream of two friends who had met under unusual life circumstances, who shared each other's grief and turned them into uncontrollable laughter.. and they never departed.

Complete

I love it when a year is about to end.. feels like completion of something, somehow..and I don't know what it is really.. maybe it's life? but that's just an illusion. Life never ends. So it must be a fake feeling of completion.. I wonder though sometimes.. does completion exist.. how does one become complete?

Sometimes we don’t head for the known path,

Between the right and wrong..lies an unknown lane – where you just don’t know where you are headed to.

But that path might be the most exciting path of all.. even if that means embracing all of it’s angst, fear, and uncertainty. It’s worth it.

I would know. I’ve never followed the known path – wouldn’t say I chose it that way..maybe the path never chose me. All these years I had been regretting my decisions, dwelling over my past, thinking about what I could have done to make things normal, do what others do, be where others are.. belong with them in an imperfect world where unity and clubbing together is an illusion.

I’m finally seeing the beauty of  this road that I’ve set a journey on since the very beginning.  

I think I'll live

Such an idiotic title. 

Sometimes, I get random thoughts like that. When I can actually stop all the chatter in my mind, I get these obscene one liners that tend to surprise and annoy me at the same time.  It's like I were a different person for that little while thinking these things.. or a very strange person was talking to me and sharing their ideas. One minute random sync.

I wonder if these one liners have a meaning, or are they completely a figment of my imagination. Whatever they are, they've become a part of me somehow. I tend to miss these thoughts if only they'd let me go by a single day without showing up. 

I don't think much about the normal stuff.. about the weather, the way cars honk outrageously every 5 minutes or so.. the way kids scream and rejoice when the school bells ring.. the way politicians wearing kiddish white T-shirts make funny comments on live tv.. the way the whole economy s' coming down..

These things mostly put me to sleep, normal things in life make me feel at ease with the world.. like everything s alright. 

These one liner thoughts however make me wait and think for that very short minute.. they make me want to open my eyes and concentrate for a while..thinking there is a hope, a hope for a different world..a world very different than this.